The Gondola Escape
by Miss R T
Summary: Artemis Fowl has been grappling with himself ever since the end of the Time Paradox, and the only way to quench his thirst is to 'investigate' a certain valuble item in a Venice castle. However, Venitians are not the only ones waiting...
1. Prologue

Artemis Fowl and the Gondola Escape

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except for the people at the party (later) and most of the villains (not Britva).

Prologue

Child Prodigies are found all over the globe – from Europe to Asia, Africa to the Middle East and from North America to (although not as densely populated) Antarctica. However, only a small amount of these children dedicate themselves to criminal activities. In fact, only one boy is known today to have done so. A fourteen-year old Irish boy.

Artemis Fowl, the fore-mentioned criminal, has spent much of his short life working tirelessly to increase his fortune, with help from his bodyguard, Butler. Since his twelfth birthday, two years after his father disappeared, most of his illegal ventures have included the secretive but powerful fairy population situated under the earth. Artemis and an elf called Holly Short have thwarted the plans of the evil Opal Koboi three times, recaptured a technologically-advanced box from an American phone company manager/ criminal underground genius, saved the whole demon species and Artemis (on his own) had stolen one ton of gold.

After the conclusion of Artemis' last fairy adventure, he has tried to keep out of their way as Holly straightens out things at her end. That is not to say that Artemis is not keeping himself busy…


	2. The Canals of Venice

The sun had reached its peak over the picturesque city of Venice, in the North of Italy. The murky water by the roads was almost opaque. Hundreds of tourists snapped pictures of the narrow streets and famous museums, speaking in a variety of languages as locals traveled on their daily business, trundling along the grey, cobbled streets. A matte black moped screeched by, narrowly missing a pram and a flower stall. The flower stall's roses shivered and their petals jerked like boats in a storm. Large families appeared from nearby Catholic churches, toddlers screaming and serene elderly men and women appearing slowly and silently from the church doors.

Viewing the Grand Canal was a small café, 'Le Riveria'. The authentic Italian café served drinks to all of the tourists, and light refreshments like biscuits and ice cream to the children. A pale boy was seated outside, at one of the many small tables arranged under large umbrellas. The teenager had raven hair; intelligent eyes and wore a neat suit. As a finishing touch, sunglasses were placed on the table. There was something about this boy that might make people stare. Maybe it was the unusually cold expression, or the way that he held himself; stiff, as if frozen. But, of course, nobody did stare, because of the tall, clean-shaven man accompanying him. The huge man was wearing a Hugo Boss suit. The boy had in front of him a glass of champagne; the man held a half-drunk cup of water.

A waiter wandered through the café, his apron flapping, and stopped beside their table. At first, he looked bemused because the two individuals had clearly swapped drinks. Then, he asked, "Is there anything else you need?" stumbling over the English vocabulary. He directed the question at the tall male, but the adolescent answered in perfect Italian.

"There is nothing we require, _grazie_."

The waiter, surprised by the fluency of the Irish boy, walked off, snapping in Italian at the counter girl.

"Are you sure about this particular venture, Artemis?" asked Butler, placing his finished glass on the table.

Artemis did not reply for a moment. He gazed across the water, where a palace embedded itself in the Grand Canal. The palace was one of the largest in Venice, sitting near the heart of the floating city. The great castle loomed over smaller buildings, casting shadows over churches and museums. It was decorated with marble statues and pillars, with a huge domed roof and extravagant foliage. The palace was owned by one of the richest couples in the world. Then Artemis turned back to the hulking bodyguard.

"Pardon?"

"Are you sure about tonight?" Butler said, looking Artemis in the eye, "There is still time to reconsider."

"Yes, I'm quite sure." Artemis replied, holding his gaze. "Everything has already been arranged. And this opportunity will not arise again, and is too good to miss."

"Then we should start to get ready soon."

Artemis continued to stare over the canal, taking in every detail of every corner of the palace. Butler considered the pale boy before him. Artemis had changed since his last encounter with Opal Koboi. These changes were affecting Artemis in a way that surprised the bodyguard; namely, his criminal plans have become less predictable and even charitable. Ever since re-gaining his fairy memories…And after three years away in Limbo…

Artemis finished his champagne. "Let's go then," he said, placing the thin glass lightly on the table. Butler signaled to a waiter and asked for the bill. He rose, walking to the counter. Artemis stayed in his chair, looking down at his suit. When Butler returned, Artemis joined his giant friend, walking out of the café and opening the sunglasses, putting them over his bright eyes on the bridge of his nose.

Butler led Artemis across the square to the hotel where they were staying. As usual, Butler was not happy in the suite the Fowls had rented; however, this one was on the ground floor. Both Artemis and Butler felt safer closer to the ground after the time when Butler, with Artemis, jumped out of a three-story window on a mattress to avoid a fairy missile. The result had left Artemis with a rib puncturing his lung and skin, with Butler not much better.

They checked in at the front desk, and opened the door to Room 23. Artemis sat in the chair beside the window.

"I'm going to my room. Call if there's a problem." Butler said, walking to the adjoining door.

After Butler had quietly closed the door, Artemis sighed, turning the ring on his finger. This, rather ostentatious, ring was in fact a fairy communicator, from a fairy who owned the second of the two communicators. Even Artemis was wondering whether this particular venture was wise, or rational. The Fowls gain nothing but satisfaction. _Not exactly rewarding_, Artemis thought. _Not by my standards_. Butler's short statements proved that Butler was worried about the plan too. Or some other relevant factor, at least. _Maybe it is just me, though. _

A sudden beeping from his pocket awoke Artemis from his thoughts. He pulled out his mobile phone and looked at the caller. _Fowl Manor_, it said. He pressed the green button.

"Hello, Mother."

"Arty." his mother replied. "How are you? Are you tired?" She always worried about him when he traveled anywhere without school or a parent.

"I'm fine, Mother."

"How is your trip to Venice going?"

"Interesting. This morning we visited an art museum and a costume shop and saw some of the traditional clothing attire for carnivals. This evening, however, we are planning to relax and enjoy a…boat ride."

"Are you alright? You don't sound yourself." So even Mother detected the changes in him.

"It must be the difference in climates." Artemis tried to avoid the situation. "How is Father?"

"Better now he has become used to his new leg. He's flying to Paris to join a meeting about the ecosystem tomorrow with Myles and Beckett. Sort of a fatherly afternoon with them." Artemis Fowl the First had lost a leg when the Mafia had kidnapped him a year ago. "When are you coming home?"

"Sometime this week. I don't know when, it all really depends on what we do tomorrow."

"Are you sure you don't want to come home sooner? Father and I really miss you when you're away. I think this is about the fifth trip since school ended. And anyway, you missed that because of your first trip to Greece!"

Artemis sighed again, thinking back to the 'trip' to Greece, in which Artemis had stolen a roman dinner set, complete with bowls and spoons, and donated the whole lot to the Dublin History Museum. "I will be home soon, Mother. It is not like I don't have protection, and I am 14."

"As you continue to remind me. I have to go now, I have an appointment with the hair salon in 15 minutes and you know what sticklers they are for timings. Rather like your father before the…well, goodbye, darling."

"Goodbye."

Artemis ended the call. He rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes. Sometimes Artemis wished that he could stop his constant global jaunts and stay at home, but his granite-hearted self stopped him from becoming legitimate. The new, nicer side of Artemis may seem good to his parents and his fairy friends, but it was stopping him from completely fulfilling his potential as a juvenile criminal. Neither side of Artemis was strong enough to throw the other out, At times, one seemed dominant, but soon that dissipated. He felt like he was being torn in half. Psychologically, that was what was happening.


	3. La Rosa Moon Palace

Alright… I'm gonna take this opportunity to explain the root of this story, and answer some of the reviews I've had. If this is boring you, just skip down to the story; it's below.

This was a fanfiction I wrote for another site, but it wasn't exactly received properly (partly due to the fact that I wrote basically the whole thing and then published all 10 or so chapters at the same time) so I'm taking it slowly here to show you what I can do.

I originally planned this as a crossover between Alex Rider (Scorpia) and Artemis Fowl. That is where the whole idea of Venice is. Ironically, Scorpia seems to be happening at the same time as this (the moped in the square, party, and things). Anyway, Scorpia is also where I got most of my information about the marketers, cheese, mopeds etc came from. Thanks for picking up on the unrealism of this, though, I'll change it. The same goes for the nice water and stuff. And I just wrote rivers because I was bored of writing canals, but I'll change that too. And all spellings are corrected when I find out about them.

And thank you for your nice comments! I really appreciate them!

OK, that's all I have to say. Here we go!

* * *

Artemis was sitting in a rented gondola, with Butler at the helm. They were both dressed in excessive costumes; Artemis in traditional Chinese prince clothing (a blue robe, cone-shaped hat and sandals) with a green mask strapped on with a string of elastic, covering his eyes and nose, set with small diamond-shaped plates of gold; Butler wearing the attire of a Chinese bodyguard of a sorts (a white robe, black sandals, a black wig and a false huge stomach) with a grey mask also held on with a string of elastic, with black and white feathers on the left and right. As a final touch, both Artemis and Butler had rubbed bronzing jelly into their skin and used a skin-tightening agent to make their eyes slant. Their appearances looked completely different than the pair who had sat in the Riveria less than eight hours ago.

"I hope you feel that this disguise is necessary, Artemis. I feel like there's a magpie on my face. Not to mention how awkward this robe is." The bodyguard commented, scratching where the elastic was cutting into his head.

"I could think of no other rational way to attach a locator and an thermogram to our costumes. And you know," smiled Artemis, "You do look rather fetching. All the women will be staring at you."

Butler chose not to reply.

The gondola drifted across the canals, slowly approaching the castle which Artemis had stared at so raptly throughout the day. The palace loomed out of the dark, tall and fierce. A hundred lanterns flickered in the dusk. There was a huge crowd of people all dressed in costumes of many colours; women wearing glistening jewels and fabrics that flow like the canal that surrounds them. Men wore darker colours and odd hats of all sizes. The costumes were from many countries; large French girls, men from Tibet, German soldiers, carnival jesters, African warriors; all wearing fantastic masks. Not a single face showed in the square. The masks were decorated similarly to Artemis and Butler's, but some were more ornate, with glitter and texture; some covering their whole face, held with a stick; some studded with gems like diamonds and pearls. The palace truly looked like a human wildlife park.

Artemis climbed out of the Venetian boat as Butler tied it to the small jetty. Butler was not feeling quite so out-of-place when he saw a man wearing a pink waistcoat, baggy trousers, no shirt, blue sandals, a sheepskin jacket, a short, brown wig and a burgundy mask with what looked like grass glued onto the bottom like a long, green beard.

He led Artemis through the crowd, parting it like Moses and the Red Sea. People were milling about in the fresh air, clearing their heads or chatting aimlessly, but Butler planned on going in immediately. The party itself was for one of the owner's birthday; the wife of the famous George Moon, Carolina Moon. Both George and Carolina were actors, performing on stages such as the West End and Broadway. Not only that, but it was rumored that the Moon couple were deeply involved on the doings of the Italian Mafia. Only the most famous couples and film stars had been invited to celebrate with Carolina.

The guard on the door was checking invitations. Artemis and Butler had not been invited, but one of Artemis' contacts was having his appendix removed, so he had given his invitation to Butler as a favour.

The guard passed another guest through and stopped Butler. "Invitation please," he said in Italian. Butler handed him the invitation, the guard inspected it, and let Butler through. But as Artemis tried to follow, the guard refused passage. "The boy is not allowed in. The invitation is for one only."

Butler, slightly perturbed by the mishap, replied, "No, the boy comes with me. I spoke to Mrs. Moon, and she was adamant that he accompanies me."

Before the guard could speak again, Artemis raised his head stared into the man's eyes. The guard looked skeptical, then slightly worried as he saw the determination in the boy's stare. Then Artemis spoke.

"Would you like us to contact Carolina?" he said, ice frosting at his very words. "I am sure there are lots of other guards who as willing as you to check invitations, and I would hate for you to be replaced." Artemis smiled, but the guard was just more uneasy.

"Err…please go in." The man looked away as the strange Chinese Prince walked through the door, the large male leading him past other people, who were holding wine glasses and plates laden with small appetizers.

"So you haven't lost your touch, Artemis," Butler sighed. "If looks could kill…"

The palace itself was called the La Rosa Moon Palace, renamed 8 years ago as a wedding present for the new Moons. The huge hall was full of people when Artemis and Butler strolled in. There was an Italian buffet on the left side of the grand hall, next to the shell-shaped staircase. Some people had taken off their masks, and Artemis recognized many of the faces from his internet searches. The most impressive woman in the room was the owner of the castle, Carolina Moon. She was trying to laugh forcefully at a joke from an old man with a vampire costume too loose. Her eyes were darting around the room nervously, watching three different people simultaneously. Maybe… Artemis refocused and forced himself to remember his task and to stop analyzing people.

The item that Artemis was searching for was the bust of the famous Giovanni Devanccus, a Roman banker from Pompeii. The marbled features had been lost since the eruption of Vesuvius in 79 A.D., but Artemis had reason to believe that George Moon had recovered the lost treasure last year. Of course, the statue would be well-guarded – giving the project an even more challenging prospect.

Butler and Artemis ignored the groups of people laughing and joking around the room, heading to the wall. Butler kept a lookout while Artemis carefully took off his hat, revealing his raven hair. He pressed a secret button inside the cone's point. A tiny wire connecting the hat to the mask suddenly sparked to life. His mask instantly glazed over his eyes and gave Artemis heat sensitive vision, giving him the power to detect objects by the amount of heat they allowed through. This meant that solid objects were a shade of blue, whereas light bulbs were more yellow or orange (not that it would be wise to look into a light bulb with these particular filters anyway). Artemis placed his hat back on his head. He looked to the wall on the left, scanning the room beyond. He saw the distinct shapes of a wardrobe and a desk, a sofa – but no statue.

Artemis shook his head, already heading to the north wall. Butler followed, picking up a glass of champagne on the way for disguise. Apon reaching the side of the room, Artemis peered through the wall, searching. This time he saw it; a shape, low to the ground. It had a protruding nose. Artemis felt a shiver run down his spine. He nodded curtly to Butler. Butler handed his glass to Artemis, then reached behind his mask and bent a mouthpiece which had been hiding down to his mouth. Artemis then stepped away from the wall, walking to the Italian buffet. Butler slipped inconspicuously through the door into the room. Artemis took off his hat again, de-activated the heat sensor and then straightened the mask.

Butler peered around the dark room, adjusting his mask to add the flashlight capability on the right, hidden by black and white feathers. The thin beam of light gave the room an eerie feel, casting grey shadows on the surroundings. Butler noticed a large, glass case in the middle of the room.

"We've struck marble," Butler intoned into the microphone. He was surprised not to hear a snide remark from Artemis.

Artemis was standing by the buffet, oblivious to the delicious smells swirling around him. He was staring at various guests. Artemis recognized over two thirds of the people as actors and film stars. However, a few people scattered around the hall were mysteriously unusual. For example, a mustached man wearing an Italian soldier's outfit and a burgundy mask with a supposed fake rifle cradled in a holster at his side. The man turned his head and stared at Artemis. Artemis quickly lowered his head.

"Artemis? Hello? Are you there?" Artemis was jolted by Butler's voice in his ear. He almost jumped, and then recomposed himself.

"Reading you loud and clear, Butler." Artemis replied, after bending his own mouthpiece to his lips. "I became side-tracked, forgive me."

"Well," said Butler, "I have the statue. It says, 'Giovanni Devanccus' underneath, so I'm pretty sure it's him, or an incredible fake. How am I going to hide it?"

"That is the reason for the false stomach, Butler. Open it up and hold it inside. Also, the robe is quite baggy. You may have a slight difficulty rowing, however. Check for wiring underneath the statue, because our friend Mrs. Moon is not beneath letting off a siren to awaken the whole of Venice."

Butler checked behind the bust and, sure enough, there was a short cable. He twisted a wire around the cable, diverting the flow. Then Butler cut it like string. He tucked the statue under his robe, trying to clutch its head and base while walking. Artemis moved silently back to the door, joining Butler as he, rather awkwardly, stepped out of the room. Nobody had noticed anything strange, and they shouldn't have.

A few minutes later, Butler and Artemis walked out of the front door into the open air. Butler was holding his stomach, looking a little too jolly and laughing like a lunatic. A different guard than the one who had taken their invitation cocked his head, and Artemis explained, "He has had a little to much to drink, I'm afraid. I'm taking him home now." The guard nodded, understandingly. Drink was the cause of many an early leave. The pair got into a gondola, and Artemis tried to steer the floating boat. It was a little bumpy, but he got the idea in the end. However, as soon as they had turned around the corner (which in itself was quite a feat from Artemis) Butler was back at the oar, and Artemis was clutching the statue in a pile of cloths that he had left in the boat, looking more than a little pleased with himself.


	4. A Goblin Goes Up

A long way under the peaceful, serene Venice, Haven was a bustling city of action. The overcrowded streets were packed with indignant fairies shouting loudly.

"Do something!"  
"Get them out!"  
"Kill them! Kill them all!"

All of these shouts were directed at the LEP police workers attempting to restrain the mob. One of the LEPrecon officers trying was Holly Short.

Holly was a metre high, with brown hair, a cherubic face, hazel eyes and pointed ears. She was an elf. And she was the only girl in the Recon Division of the LEP.

"Are you having any luck, Holly?" said a voice to her right. Holly recognized it as Grub Kelp, an elf famous for complaining about everything from a hangnail to boredom. Grub was a short, with a pudgy cheeks and a mouth that is constantly down-turned.

"Yes, but I have to go soon. I have a meeting with your brother. He said it was important."

"Trubs overreacts about everything. Really! I mean, I don't complain about anything compared to him."

"…Right. Either way, I have to go. Now. So, you'll have to take over my side."

"What?" said Grub, surprised, as Holly darted into the building. Holly caught a glimpse of his face before it was submerged. Somewhere between annoyance and confusion.

Trouble Kelp, the Commander of the LEPrecon, was an elf with copper red hair, brown eyes and a stern face. However, Trouble had saved Holly on more than one occasion. Trouble had taken over from Ark Sool during the time Holly had been in Limbo for three years.

Holly clicked on the button to open Trouble's office at the exact time he came out.

"Commander!" Holly flustered. Trouble face was taken aback as he saw Holly. But then he recovered.

"Good to see you arrived. I was about to come look for you."  
"I was helping to contain the mob outside."  
"I thought I heard something."  
"Yes, sir. They were shouting things like, "Kill them all! Kill them all! etc."

"Come in." Trouble walked back into his office, and Holly followed behind. The room was full of electronics; full size computers, communication systems and the brand new Neutrino 4000, of which there were only two (one for Commander Kelp, the other for Foaly to work on).

Trouble sat down at his desk, pointing to the chair opposite for Holly. Holly sat.

"I have an important assignment for you. The reason all of the commotion outside is happening is because…"

"A goblin has gone up." responded Holly.

"…Yes. A goblin brute who worked for Opal Koboi and Cudgeon has managed to escape Howler's Peak. The chip we put in him – he seems to have found a way of causing the chip to malfunction. He fell into a shuttle that drove him automatically up to one of our terminals. The goblin blew the place apart, and hurt some of the fairies there, both police fairies and innocent bystanders. A police officer shot him with a tranquilizer dart, but it seemed to have no effect."

"So the fairies outside were shouting their anger at all of the goblins in general?" Holly asked.

"It would seem so," Trouble replied. "I want you to scout around and find the goblin. He reached Terminal 34 – on the outskirts of the city of Venice. A rather odd place for a goblin to head but still, they have a small brain, so that is hardly a surprise… Anyway, if you can find the goblin and successfully navigate the Retrieval team there, the mob outside will undoubtedly decrease. Also, after your impressive mission involving the kraken, another successful mission will look good on your record."

Holly was excited. "So when should I leave?"

"As soon as possible. Foaly of course will give you all the equipment you need, but we have to get that goblin back under the guard's eyes at Howler's Peak quickly."

"Holly!" Foaly greeted her with a friendly whinny as she stepped into his laboratory. Foaly, an extremely intelligent centaur, had golden eyes, brown hair and four hooves (as every centaur does). Foaly had invented most of the important inventions Haven has seen. Only recently, Foaly had married another centaur called Caballine during the time that Holly had been 'away'.

"Foaly. Good to see you." Foaly was one of Holly's oldest friends, and vice versa. They had been through a lot together.

"I heard about your mission. It doesn't seem too complicated, just a normal reconnaissance job."

"Yeah, nothing about saving the world – entirely mundane," Holly said sarcastically.

Foaly laughed. "Anyway, I've got some good stuff for you. First, because I'm still finishing off the Neutrino 4000, you're stuck with the old 3000. But I suppose you're more comfortable with that one anyway. However, I do have some new wings." Foaly pointed to the set of wings on the table. "These are the newest Hummingbird model, with my modifications, naturally. The auto-armour, flexing etc. Also, bog-standard helmet, radio camera, microphone, and visor with digital display. Plus, the helmet self-destruction and, my favourite, the bouce-bags. You've got your shimmer suit…That's it."  
Holly was taken aback by the abrupt end to his speech. "What's wrong? You don't want to go on about your equipment? Or are you out of ideas?"  
"Well, actually, Holly, the mobs outside are making me nervous. The sooner we get rid of them, the better in my opinion," Foaly said. Holly didn't know whether Foaly was joking or serious, because of previous things…like a tin foil hat…

Holly arrived at Terminal 34 after a jerky ride in a pod with hot magma/lava licking at the edges of her unsteady craft relatively unharmed. Unlike quite a few of the LEPrecon officers, Holly was a magnificent flyer, one of the best in the force.

The terminal was in disarray. Benches overturned, Desks uprooted, the whole place smelt of burnt toast. Only one fairy was in sight. An LEP officer who was waiting for her. A discarded gun lay beside him. The officer was a quite young sprite whose arm seemed to be singed, as a bit of green skin could be seen, and was helmetless. His wings, luckily untouched, were folded behind him.

"What happened?" asked Holly.

The sprite, after realising who Holly was, said, "Well, the goblin came charging in here and started throwing fireball after fireball. I think that it was because of the fact that the goblin had been stuck in a pod for a while and he was angry. I took out my gun and shot him, but it seemed to have hardly any effect. Then, he ran out of the…"  
"Wait a second," said Holly, "Go back to the part where you shot him." Holly pointed to the gun on the floor and picked it up. "Is this the gun you used?"  
"Yes. Why?"

"This gun has fairly old tranquilizer darts in it. That means that the strength of the dart will be less that originally. However, that should still be enough to knock out a goblin. Did you use a full dart, or a half-empty dart?" Holly looked inside the dart container.

"A full dart."

"But all of the rest in here are half-darts, meant to be used on pixies because they have more permeable skin. Did you not check beforehand?"  
"…No. Sorry, sir."

Holly dismissed it. "That doesn't matter now. Are you sure the dart had no effect?"  
"No effect that…wait. The goblin did seem more disorientated after I shot him. Does that make sense?"

"Yes. Thank you, Corporal. I would go and have that arm looked at now." Holly walked to the Terminal entrance, smiled back at the sprite, activated her wings and flew off, leaving the LEPrecon officer standing in the middle of the destroyed building.


End file.
